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| Wow. Time does fly very fast. It's been a year now when I posted my first entry.
Once Upon a December, my first post. When I told Donna that the first post of one of my precious memories was about her, she was shocked. Back then, when I was posting that, I was so depressed about my relationship with her - we just broke up. And as the days go by, I realized how important she is to me and how much I've loved her.
That's when I started to have a blog as a refuge of the sorrow and happiness of my life.
And I was thankful, as usual, and happy as well that I found a refuge that would help me lighten the burden that I feel whenever I'm sad, and that would help me to express my happiness when I am happy.
Xanga gave me that refuge. I found out that Donna was using Xanga as her blog host, that's why I used Xanga as my blog host as well. But Donna left and found a better one - Blogdrive. I tried it, yeah, it was better than Xanga - you can design your blog with HTML. But I'm not good with HTML, and there were so few who uses it. So I told myself, I'll never leave Xanga until I find a better blog host. So many were telling me that there are a lot of other good blog hosts. I did find some, but I was so sad because I've posted a lot of entries when I found some.
Now, I'm going to use this occasion as my excuse to go to another web host. But no matter what the web host is, the blogs are still one. Jaime, my sibling and Kim told me that Livejournal is good - they also use it as their blog host. So I'm going to transfer there.
I'm going to leave my posts here, I've saved them in MS word. My readers could still see my posts and even give their comments in Livejournal (even if you're not registered). And for those who still prefer the chatbox here (since I can't use the chatbox in Livejournal) I will still keep it active. From time to time, I'll check this precious first blog of mine.
http://timandre-alumit.livejournal.com/
Thank you, Xanga. | | |
| Who else would bring us to this world aside from God?
Like most everyone else in the world, I would brag about my mother's doings, would be proud of her and would say that My Mom is the best mom in the world! It just proves that God really knows what mom to pair with us.
And today is Mother's Day. I've been expressing my thanksgiving to my Mom since I realized that I really have to thank her for all the things she has done for us - and this entry just proves it. I'm in-front of the PC typing this entry that's dedicated to Mom.
Like what I've been telling in my previous entries, I've realized a lot since Dad died - and one of them is how I love and thank Mom for. Since the minute that Dad died, I realized this - she hugged us (me and my siblings) and told us to be brave of what is going to happen next. We tried to brace ourselves when she told us this, and we also became brave when we saw that Mom was crying because of those big waves of problems that hit us after Dad passed away. Even though she was crying, she still stood up and became brave. And even with her poor management skills, I still love her. She's also the reason (aside from Dad,) why I don't want to give up as well, why I became ambitious, and the reason why my eyes saw the truth that I have to continue walking with the world, and must not be left in order to survive.
Well, I guess I've ran out of things to say about her because I ran out of things to say about her - I've written most in the cards. I can no longer say anything about her, I guess.
And if Mom's reading this entry, I would greet her a Happy Mother's Day. She's done a great job! | | |
| What else would you expect from an occasion dedicated to you?
One of the season of the year that I fear - because of the fear of losing money that I saved before summer for summer.
As what I've said in one of my previous entries, last month, April, is the month that most of my relatives and friends celebrate their birthdays. I rarely give presents to those relatives and friends except from mom and my sibling. And because I was not able to save that much money - or rather, I was not able to save money at all - I decided to just give personalized gifts instead of occasional cards that I give. After all, I am getting tired of writing cards for them - I give cards when occasions like these occur.
So, for my sibling, another Timandre wallpaper that I asked Kim to do - she did another one that I might show in my future posts. This second Timandre wallpaper isn't finish yet up to now. And since I'm not yet contented with just a wallpaper, I created a Ragnarok in-game skin as a gift - Timandre version, of course. It was easy because I just copied another skin and changed it's color, applied an image of Kamalia into one of the parts with Photoshop - then it was done. Unfortunately, it was deleted together with the reformat - but I was able to send it to some of my friends to see, I might be able to get it back. 
As for Mom, I'll be hitting two occasions in one gift - because my Mother's day gift is also my Birthday gift for her. I was not able to get my Birthday gift for her ready when she celebrated her birthday - so I told her that it would be delayed. It was delayed - for a month. And since I remembered that Mother's day is just nearby, I would just give it to her on that day. My gift for her is also personalized - it's a personalized image with a message on it. And like what I've typed above, I am getting tired of writing long letters for her since I do so many times once a year. She also expects me to write another long letter for her. So, with the image is the message, You're beyond words, all I can say is: I love you. And together with it is a violet frame made out of thinned and processed shells.Pretty sneaky, huh?  | | |
| I can't remember forever or as long as time exists, but I know, it's still with me - one of my precious memories.
Everything that reminds me of my memories are one of the things that I treasure - that is why, I am very centimental, I appreciate everything even sorrow, hatred and deception. And like everyone else, all these things that remind me of my memories are also like a part of my memories. Those who know me, and those who have been reading this online journal clearly knows that. That is why, if one of these things or people disappear or fade away, I mourn for them.
And now, I am mourning. I've lost the things that make me remember since the start of almost everything for me - since the very day I first played Ragnarok, introduced myself to friends, the first time I fell in-love and realized that the world really is complicated.
Almost every file, program and screenshot that makes me remember all these was deleted. I was only able to save half, or half of half. I am thankful, as usual, that this blog was not among them. It is one of my precious pieces that was not deleted.
Now, I could only ask for God to show me these lost memories when I reach the end of my own road - it is forever gone, but still with me.
Because of this, it caused me depression. It is also the reason why I was not able to converse with my friends online, and why I was not able to update this journal of mine for some time. I lost memories like the way Sakura from Tsubasa Chronicles did - though, there's a difference, those memories that were lost can no longer be returned to me.
And during that time, I could not do anything but disturb Pio, Kristin and the others by calling them, read books and watch all the shows that I could shown on the television. This is one of the things that I hate - doing things that are unproductive (except from reading books).
Also, it caused me more depression because of my sibling - together with my precious memories, my sibling's projects and thesis vanished - my sibling could not do anything but rush and make-up everything that was lost. We both are making-up everything that was lost - we both started to set the computer up again, and here I am, typing while waiting for a system we're downloading to finish. I'm also saving up money (that mom gives) to be able to buy or get a DSL installed - this way, repairing and restoring or PC to it's former lifestyle would be easier.
At the end, I really wish I could see those lost memories as they were back then - for the meantime, I would do nothing but miss them. | | |
| Very few can overcome a social boundary.
As what I was expecting, the ending of Emma - A Victorian Romance is sad. And obviously, I like sad ending - even my own first novel is going to end into a sorrowful one. I will be summarizing the story - it is short for it has only 12 episodes. I watched it for 3 months - it is shown in Animax once per week. It's a very beautiful animation. And like what I believe, those who made it made the social boundary almost-indestructible.
Emma, a maid in England in the Victorian Era - by the end of 19th century, has met a gentleman named William - a gentleman who came from a wealthy merchant house, the House of Jones. They met when William went to visit his old governess - who is Emma's mistress - Kelly Stowner.
Emma was adopted by Kelly - Emma was a village girl whose parents died, she was adopted by her Aunt, and was treated like a slave. One day, she was ordered to sell some clamps (I actually know what it is,) in the town. On the way, she was snatched by a stranger and was kept in a carriage for days. When she was forced to get out of the carriage, she saw that she was in London and in-front of a house of Prostitution. When the snatcher and the mistress of the house was deciding and dealing about how much the snatched would sell Emma, Emma had the chance to run away. She became a street child and she kept on going through houses to ask for a piece of bread - all of them refused her but one. The maids in the house were kind enough to accept her - she will help them in exchange for food. Then, at times, she would go out of the house to sell flowers. One time, when Emma was fixing something in the house's garden, Kelly passed by and saw her. The owner of the house is Kelly's friend and Kelly asked who Emma is. The mistress of the house told her that she is someone who works for food in her house. Kelly asked her friend if she could adopt her since she needs a maid. And since maids need to write and read, Kelly taught Emma how to read and write.
William was 13 years old when he last saw his governess, and when he visted, it has been years - therefore, it is his first time to see Emma. He was mesmerized by Emma's beauty - it was simple but yet graceful. The way she serves and acts is also graceful. A lot of other were mesmerized - and each tried their luck, but each was refused by Emma. At first, Emma didn't have feelings for William. But everyday, William would stay in a store where Emma would pass by when she buys necessities for the house.
Then, William's bestfriend, a royal blood of India , Hakim, came to stay in London. Since Hakim brought Elephants with him, he asked William to tour him around London with it. And because William was accustomed to carriages, he felt sick - fortunately, they were near Kelly's house. William rested there, and saw Emma again - but this time, Hakim also saw her and he was also mesmerized. He said we would stay for two weeks, but it was extended up to the ending of the story because of Emma.
Hakim directly went to Emma to ask her to be his lover, but Emma refused, as usual - then, Hakim found out that Emma is slowly falling for William and also found out that William likes Emma. Because of this, he gave up and told William that he'd let go of Emma and allow William to be her lover.
They had dates in the park - and only one date that would confirm that they were lovers. The date in the Crystal Palace. They went there, and toured around it. For those who don't know, Crystal Palace exists back then, it was like a Manor made out of glass which is open to the public - and within it are all the famous things from all over the world. An Egyptian obsidian and a Roman column, for instance. The lovers had fun and since they were chatting, they didn't know they were locked up because the palace closed to the public. They spent the night inside - and even had a kissing scene!
The story went by with Kelly's story as well, like what I've posted in my previous entries - the story tells Kelly's past. Kelly's past is mainly of her husband and Al, their bestfriend. Kelly and her husband were married when she was 18, then he died when she was 20. And since then, Kelly became a governess - and also since then, Al is checking her up from time to time. Kelly had a sickness - this is also included in my previous entries - and told Al to take care of Emma, and her love affair with William. Kelly died after this.
Also, as the story goes by, the house of Jones is being featured - their social gatherings and balls. Also, William's supposed-to-be fiance, Eleanor Campbelle. William's father is ambitious - like everyone else in the world. Since their house if only a house of a merchant, they had to ascend by social means by marrying a noble - this noble house is the house of Campbell. Eleanor also had feelings for William - though, William doesn't have feelings for her, as I have been typing, it belongs to Emma.
When Kelly died, Emma mourned for her, then decided to return to the village where she came from. She went to the house of Jones to tell this to William, but William was not around because he went to visit to Kelly's house - he did not know that she died. William waited in-front of the locked house, Emma waited in the house of Jones with Hakim entertaining her. Then, they both gave up, Emma was exiting when William saw her.
William went to her and hugged her in front of the house of Jones - everyone saw even the maids. William's father came down and slapped him, because of this, Emma ran out of the grounds. This became a scandal that the house of Campbell heard, and their relationship with the house was scarred. William went to Kelly's house again, and Al saw him. He went to Al's place and Al told him everything about Emma - her past and what happened to Kelly. William was guilty because he said he only thought of himself and he wasn't there when Emma needs him most. When William got back to the house of Jones, Hakim told him that Emma is leaving - it was hard for him to tell because he still loves Emma, but he doesn't want to be selfish.
He first went to Kelly's house, and as usual, didn't find her there. He then went to the train station, and saw her there, in-front of the train she'll ride, itself. William was not able to stop her, but instead, she allowed Emma to say goodbye to her. She rode, and when the train was running, he tried to chase it. But he couldn't do anything any longer..
And as the train went by, tears flowed from Emma's eyes. | | |
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